It's your birthday today and we wish we were there, sitting with you on your porch drinking lemonade or tea and also drinking in your presence. You are a constant topic of conversation in our house. Max was saying just today that when he is ready to move away from home he's moving to Massachusetts. In fact, he's planning on moving in with you! Everyone here, in this house wishes you a fabulous day.
Spot died. She wasn't feeling well for a couple of days and today, while I was at the pet store looking for fish medicine for an unknown fish illness she kicked it. May I just say how guilty I feel? These little things live in a little box on my kitchen counter. I already feel bad enough about that. But, add to that I somehow managed to kill one of them. It is possible that more will die. They look fine now, but who knows what happened to Spot? She may have already contaminated the other four and by the end of the week I may have an empty box on my kitchen counter.
I was in a Mode, treating the water in the fish tank, cleaning the filter, the rocks, the Fish World. Spot was floating around and my kids were outside. I buried Spot "at sea" (read: flush). That was unthinking of me. Spot should have been buried in our yard with our other little dead creatures. So I'm feeling guilty that I let Spot die and also that I didn't give my children a chance to say a proper "goodbye" to their favorite fish.
A few very special friends came to help me paint my studio this Friday night. I lured them here with homemade apple pie. (My mum's apple pie, I'm learning, is a key to many hearts - thanks Mum.) Oh my gosh, this was such a special night for me, I am so grateful to each friend who came by and willingly worked hard after a long days work of their own. I look forward to having many more little gatherings and play dates in this space. There is more work yet to be done, but the walls and ceiling are completely covered with bright white, washable paint. As boring as white may seem, I assure you this space will be filled with color and vibrance as it matures.
...To have an espresso maker in my kitchen. We've had this baby for ages, though it usually lives in Chris' office - close but not too close to my daily activity. I can't recall why or how it ended up in the main house, but there it sits, calling my name. All day long. I had three lattés and an americano Thursday. That's eight shots of espresso, people. And milk is not something I should be adding to my diet. It makes me puffy. Drinking coffee all day long also pleasantly reminds me of my dad. When he and I worked together there was always a hot pot of coffee at the ready. And while those times were often challenging for both of us, they are also comforting memories of just me and Papa. Yes, coffee is the one ritual that has been consistent in my life since going off to college. Not that I'm counting, but that's approximately 9,125 mornings of a pleasant ritual for me. How does one undo that tangled web?
Ah, but there are other rituals I would like to insert into my mornings. Yoga, meditation, writing. The difficulty with each of those is they require a great deal more effort than drinking a hot cup of deliciousness. And in the case of writing, in my opinion a hot cup of coffee is needed in order to compose myself and my thoughts.
Well, I'm off now to finish my cup of coffee and take a peek inside my freshly painted studio! Thanks to my sweet friends for helping me paint last night.
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
To quote the Minister's Wife: "Ever since I can remember, I've been a mess." The Minister's Wife lives in North Carolina, I haven't actually met her. But I feel a kinship towards her. Indeed, I have been a mess ever since I can remember, too. I'm the Un-Zen Master in my realm, and I feel that I am helping to create two more; Offspring of the Un-Zen Master. I am looking around my little space right now at all the things that need tending to. Some of them mine, some of them not. I will eventually tend to them all, but not before more things pile up next to, or near them, making the mess a constant, pulsing presence in our lives. Clutter. Visual, audio, physical, emotional. It's all there, lots and lots of clutter. I aim to crush it where it stands. Perhaps I've said this before. I know I've said it out loud, maybe not so out loud as to actually publish it online...I need to minimize, cull, edit, reduce, remove, Zen-ify my space - our space.
I have been waiting for a copy of Simplicity Parenting to become available at the public library. Waiting and waiting. It isn't an excuse, mind you. I've got lots of books on decluttering and organizing. I even have a book on how to organize when you've got ADD. It seemed like a good purchase at the time, I never finished reading it. Anyhow. I have only to read the description of Simplicity Parenting on Amazon to glean what I will get out of it, and I need that, for starters:
"...streamline your home environment. Reduce the amount of toys, books, and clutter - as well as the lights, sounds, and general sensory overload.
Establish rhythms and rituals. Discover ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes, and tell if your child is overwhelmed.
Schedule a break in the schedule. Establish intervals of calm and connection in oyour child's daily torrent of constant doing.
Scale back on media and parental involvement. Manage your children's "screen time" to limit the endless deluge of information and stimulation.
A manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood, Simplicity Parenting is an eloquent guide to bringing new rhythms to bear on the lifelong art of raising children."
I've always wanted a manifesto of my very own. I figured I'd have to write it myself, though. Streamlining anything, other than a User Interface, that's tough for me. Somehow my life and the stuff that goes with it escapes my powers in the stream lined organization arena-which I used make a decent living at.
Back to The Mess: I have come up with a strategy, not on my own, but a fine strategy. It is called "Closet-Go-Round: Whole House Declutter". And it is going to be hard. For me and everyone else in the house, it is going to be hard. And it is going to take a number of days, consecutivedays. Despite the modest 900 square feet of house, we've still got a robust 1,800 square feet of stuff, and some individuals in this house have attachments to that stuff. The date to embark on this journey is not yet on the calendar. That might be a good first step. Well that and I've got to pick a room to start with and then finish in there before I move on to pruning our enormous maple tree, I mean the next room.
My heart goes a-pitter-patter when I'm in a hardware store. I love tools, preferably power tools, and things to build with; corrugated metal, adhesives, paint, tiles, wood, hardware in its many forms, rope, drop cloths, oh the list goes on! This weekend, in preparation for finishing off the studio I needed to run out with the family to score some supplies. Chris, I should mention, also has a house project going right now and was collecting items for that as well - he's finishing off the loft safety railing. While Chris was collecting his items the boys and I went to the paint section to gather what we needed for that project. Coleman and Max were highly disappointed when I told them the studio is getting painted all white on the inside. Disappointed maybe isn't the right word, mad might be a better word. They chose a number of colors for the inside, all of them nice, maybe not together, but not what I'm shooting for. I am thinking of caving on one surface, for the ceiling they chose a lovely blue. While we were there we also picked up a shopvac to keep our new and precious space in decent shape. The shopvac turned out to be a big hit for each of us, for different reasons. The boys liked taking turns using it, at first to vacuum their hair and shirts and then the much needed removal of plaster dust and general dirt in there. I liked it because I've always wanted my own shopvac - and it will keep this space tidy and that's a step in the direction of organized in my mind.
Autumn is in the air, I can smell it and feel it, I can even see the subtle California signs of it in the trees and plants. This summer has been full and wonderful. We have spent so much time together, mostly positive and growth-inspiring. Many wonderful memories have been cast. One thing I didn't get a lot of was time to myself. I take one night per week, which had been meditation then hiking with the dog. I found hiking with the dog for a couple hours was what I needed more than zazen, so my meditation nights became hiking nights. This past Friday both boys were in the woods with Max's teacher and a bunch of other boys so I had five hours during the day to myself. Five Hours. Myself. If there is anything in Life As Mother/Partner that I find challenging, no time to myself is by far the most difficult for me. I am a solitary person. It is not that I need space away from my family, it's that I need space to myself. It isn't that I don't love their voices and conversations and ideas, it's that I need quiet at times. In order to hear my own voice and ideas. Most things I do are for and about my family. Time alone is all about me - not them. Which is another thing I find challenging about being a mother/partner, not feeling guilty for those needs.
In a short time our homeschooling year will begin at home and at our alternative school and Coleman will be there one day per week (more about that alternative school later). This will give me one day per week to myself. Max will spend another year at Tara Redwood, five days per week. I will be attending an evening class at our local community college twice per week. The rhythm or our days will be altered in one big autumnal movement towards new learning, new goals, new challenges, new people. Change. I will have more time alone and more time doing work independent of my family life. I will also have more intense one on one time with my boys. We will have a less free-form bedtime and outside scheduled structure to bring more definition to our days. Ah, savor the challenges of the moment I tell myself as I walk into this autumn ritual of a new school year and the New England season I miss most of all. This time of year I feel those 3,168 miles most of all.
Homeschooling thoughts:
You can find some ideas about setting homeschooling goals here. If you, like me, are slow to the table of planning...If you're looking for a good resource for all things homeschooling Simple Homeschool is a great place to begin, sign up for their email, it's all good. As with most readily available homeschooling info out there, if you are looking for secular information you may have to filter. I got over my aversion (mostly) to the religious slant of much of the homeschooling sites and blogs. Filter. Filter. Filter. I had to get over myself, as a Recovered Catholic (Sorry, Mum). Anyhow, a lot of the content is about the logistics of homeschooling, supporting the parent teacher, helping your children make good choices in life, the freedom to be individuals and not be ashamed of individuality. If we can do that, no mater the philosophy, we've done a good job.
Another promotion for Coleman. He's worked hard for this one, it was not easy to get there during the summer. We were proud, he was proud, it was another good day.
Happy weekend, friends and family! Hope you've had a good one.
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
We took another Pogonip walk, this time with the express mission of finding a snake. First we made a short pit stop for some yummy ripe berries. We were with some friends and the boys were able to lead the expedition (sort of), along with Kitty. Our friend Lori took over leading us back to the trail when we went too far astray - ticks are nasty this time of year and we were in Tick City. As you can see, a snake was found, caught and returned to nature - to eat the small mammal it had just finished constricting when the boys discovered it. Coleman also found a Praying Mantis in the tall, ticky grass. Eventually we happened upon a picnic table and sat for a little while and ate and chatted. The boys bored of the sitting/chatting/eating quickly and ended up exploring/climbing/playing. I would say it was a good day. It's a great trail, and I recommend it if you live in this area. Many miles can be explored, or you can just walk a while and explore along the way slowly.
Walls are sanded and ready for paint! This week the organizational structure begins. I hear you chuckling to yourselves, you didn't think I had the phrase "organizational structure" in my vocabulary, did you? If nothing else, I know that my severe lack of organization has an effect on us all. I aim to fix that. To the best of my ability.
Left to do? Prime, Paint, Install Shelving, Reinstall Lighting, Organize Furniture and Tools. Create.
Max snapped this picture of me today after the carpenters left.
Happy creating, everyone! I hope you have a productive and fruitful day.
We had another amazing day outside today. We five went for a hike today along the Pogonip Trail. Just getting there was interesting. We took a road off Route 9 near a relatively industrial area. A short distance from industry we found ourselves on a bucolic country road. The end of the road was the beginning of the trail. I have to insert here that the boys complained about having to go for a family hike. They had many reasons not to go. Before we had even hiked for twenty minutes this had become the "hike of a lifetime" according to the guys. Interesting how that goes, eh?
Today we took to the beach to celebrate Max's seventh birthday with our friends. It was an epic day to be there. A bird-day celebration that will be looked back upon as one of the most memorable for Max, I suspect; the people, the weather, The Birds, the bonfire. Beautiful memories; we are so grateful to all of our friends for sharing this day with us, a big hug goes out to all of you!
Words fall short, the pictures fall short of the experience too, but it's the closest I can get you to what our day was like:
Our friend Jennifer shot this one of Max - click on this to enlarge and try to find the jumping sardine!
